So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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