are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
