Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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