these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
