She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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