dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
