Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
...so i touched it.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
