the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You made out with two different species that night
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
