what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
