is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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