Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Can I color on your dick again?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I believe in your delicious
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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