Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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