I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
