What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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