So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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