I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
