we have officially lost it.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
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