I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
