I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
ok first of all what the fuck
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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