Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Randomize
