do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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