STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
