i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
