mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
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