one word: firstdatebathroomanal
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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