But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
