last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
