I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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