Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
