This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Randomize
