I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
