Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
