well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
