i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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