You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
