what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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