wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
