Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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