I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
