grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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