you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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