I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
