he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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