Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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