Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Sponge bath it is.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
