the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
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