My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
