D3 body, D1 cock
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
