i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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