omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
