Don't you send me to vm
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
