His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
