Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
