Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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